January 4, 2000Aphorisms for 2000Murphy's famous law is an aphorism that states: If something can go wrong, it will. The law became well known in an era of high technology when the world was becoming all too familiar with computer "glitches." With a new millennium upon us, what aphorisms might we expect going forward into the 21st century? The first line of the email read: Home is where you hang your @. I chuckled and read on through a fun and fascinating list of aphorisms that arrived via email the other day, forwarded to me by a friend, to whom it was forwarded by someone else in typical email-forwarding fashion. The list was not attributed to any author. I sent out a few emails in search of an author, but I have not received any replies. Chances are I never will. Since an aphorism is a short, pithy statement of some general principle or truth, these aphorisms are meant to be some general principles or truths that characterize our high technology culture at this transition point into the new millennium. Much of the humor of these aphorisms comes from the fact that each is a clever rewording of a familiar aphorism. Since I was able to laugh at almost all of them, I realized that I must know the original. On closer examination, I found that I knew about 90%; a few I had to look up or ask a friend. So here's a chance to test yourself. Read each aphorism. Do you understand why it's funny? Can you say or write the original?
Here are the new aphorisms with the old ones to which they are related. I've added a few explanatory notes.
(Note: The @ symbol is required as part of the address of all email messages and is pronounced as "at." It was invented about 1985 by Ray Tomlinson, a scientist at Bolt, Beranek, and Newman in Cambridge, MA.)
(Note: Many people today feel overwhelmed by the number of e-mail messages they receive every day.)
(Note: Searching for good information on the Internet often turns out to require looking at a great many sites.)
(Note: Both aphorisms have about the same meaning. However, in the fast-changing world of modern technology, one is regularly challenged with the constant need to learn new "clicks.")
(Note: Internet home pages often have an overwhelming collection of verbal and graphic items competing for the viewers attention.)
(Note: The Pentium processor chip is used in many of today's computers.)
(Note: A modem is the device on a computer that enables it to send and receive messages over the phone lines. The word was created recently to describe the function of the device--to modulate and demodulate messages.)
(Note: As noted above, if you are searching for information on the Net--browsing--your search may be spoiled by having to look at many sites that don't provide the information you want.)
(Note: A geek is a person with a high level of understanding of computer technology.)
(Note: A chat is a written discussion on the Net among a number of people at various locations. Such discussions can often go on for a very long time--well beyond their original intention.)
(Note: A play on words with two homonyms and a warning that it is easy to get overstuffed from too much Web viewing.)
(Note: A simple play on words between two almost homonyms.)
(Note: A warning that computers that start by booting up, can often stop, crash, or come down without warning.
(Note: Windows is the operating system for PC computers. Its producer, Microsoft, has been accused by the federal government of trying to dominate the industry with unfair monopolistic practices.)
(Note: Some people feel that the experiences that can be created by today's advanced computer systems are enjoyable even if they don't bear any relationship to the real world.)
(Note: As noted above, modulation is a process that is carried out by the modem in a computer in order to translate your email messages into signals that can be transmitted over the phone lines.)
Note: It is a common experience for Net browsers to become so engaged in the browsing experience that it totally consumes all their spare time--sometimes even encroaching on family or work time.
(Note: People or organizations that have home pages on the Web must have a URL address so that others can access the page. URL stands for "universal resource locator" and takes the specific form indicated in the aphorism.)
(Note: Many people who set out to create their own first Web sites make use of connections called links to pages on their own site or to other Web sites. If not carefully done, such links can result in a very tangled set of experiences for the viewer.)
(Note: As noted above, browsing or surfing the Net can become a serious preoccupation--some might say an addiction.) The Columbia Encyclopedia, Fifth Edition, points out that Hypocrites, a Greek physician who lived long ago, was the first person to use the term, "aphorism." His collection of "Aphorisms" was a list of briefly stated medical principles. The opening sentence of his collection was: "Life is short, art is long, opportunity fleeting, experimenting dangerous, reasoning difficult." If you enjoy aphorisms, there are many valuable Web sites for exploring them more fully. Aphorisms Galore has a wonderful collection to browse through. Other fun collections can be found at Universal Truths and Welcome to My Plethora of Astute Remarks A collection of technology-related aphorisms known as Murphy's Laws has taken on a life of its own and can be explored on the Web. Helpful in more general ways are a wonderful collection of literary terms that can be found on a site created by teachers and a quick reference collection of quotations and phrases. If you want to buy a book of aphorisms, you can purchase The Oxford Book of Aphorisms. Finally, I enjoyed finding this definition of an aphorism from The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce, published in 1911. APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.
You can purchase The Devil's Dictionary. |